“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion” – Dale Carnegie

Every business needs to attract clients or it will go out of business. As Mortgage Brokers we are selling ourselves, so our first step is to attract potential clients to us, from where we can work to build trust with them. If you are in sales of any kind, you are in the business of human emotion.

The psychology of what draws people to others, be it in a personal or business context, provides a basis for how we should go about this. There are 5 main principles of attraction that you need to understand to help make your business as ‘magnetic’ as possible — similarity, reciprocity, proximity, familiarity and physical appearance.


Put simply, people like people who they believe are like themselves and hold similar values and beliefs. Studies have found that people are more likely to form relationships with individuals who are more like themselves across a broad range of characteristics, including age, level of education, religion, political views. The reason for this is that ultimately it is a social validation of ourselves to be around people who are generally like us and also that common interests make others more familiar to us and more comfortable for us to interact with.

A large body of research investigates the role that similarity of attitudes plays in attraction. According to studies by Ellen Berscheid and Elaine H. Walster (1969) and Donn Byrne (1971), people are generally most attracted to others who share similar attitudes.

Additionally, people who share similar important attitudes, such as attitudes concerning home and family, are more likely to be attracted to each other than those who share attitudes about less important things.

What this means from a business standpoint is that when you are defining your target market you are better off focussing on people who are like yourself. This is one of the reasons I suggest you bring ‘the real you’ to the forefront of your marketing and not try and create a different persona for your business. People can see the similarities between themselves and other people, but they won’t see this if you hide yourself behind a big company facade.

People tend to assume that people they don’t know yet are more dissimilar to them than they really are. The more people interact and express themselves the more we see commonality with others which breaks down barriers to communication. So the more you can express yourself in your marketing as a real person, the more likely others will pick up on the inevitable similarities you have with them.

You should also consider focussing your marketing locally as people who live around you have many things in common with you. They will automatically see you as more similar than someone who lives on the other side of the city or country, as well as being more invested in looking after them. According to the Consumers on Brokers Survey (MPA Magazine, Nov 2015), 14% of survey respondents were encouraged by the simple fact that their Broker was based local to them.

Also, when people are looking at your marketing, they are looking for people the same as themselves. Your marketing needs to speak specifically to them and their circumstances. If you are marketing to young families, use case studies about young families — the challenges they were facing and how you helped them overcome them – ideally backed up with relevant testimonials.